Why was I tense and frowning on my baptism?

I received comments that I looked tense during the whole baptism service. I didn't really notice that, but I can probably explain by telling you what was on my mind during the service.

Actually I was amazed by the timely reassurances on Friday and Saturday, just before the baptism day itself. They were just so last minute and yet in time. I decided to go for the baptism only on last Friday after Aunty Suat Ngoh ressured me that my parents would be fine with my baptism as long as I was sure that I wanted to go for it.

Their consents have been bugging me for a few months. I mentioned to them once a month ago and they advised me to wait until I have decided to stay in Singapore or leave. If I were to leave, there was no point in getting baptised now and here. That sounded logical to me and there was indeed a point there. So even though the baptism was my own desire to make my commitment clear and to express my personal faith and does not depend on the place, it seemes that it's difficult to bring this up to my parents again. Although I strongly believed that baptism was actually just between me and God, but my parents' understanding and consents were very important to me.

I have then decided not to mention it to my parents before baptism, just only maybe if the opportunity arised, I would mention it. I was chatting with my parents over MSN on Saturday night, there was a main topic to discuss: we have just found a buyer who was willing to give a price for the flat that was agreeable to us. So the whole night I was busy with communicating between my parents and the agent-in-charge. There was no chance that I could mention the baptism. Until when my father suddenly asked me why I went to church on Saturday and then again on Sunday. So I told him that I would be going for baptism the next day. They were shocked of course. But after hearing that I was very certain about it, they gave their consents. That was relieving.

Aunty Suat Ngoh has also asked if there is an additional name, like Christian name that I would like to put in the baptism cert. I just told her "Aileen". That was natural. It has been with me for the past 16 or 17 years, though I seldom use it in Singapore. It was chosen by my teacher in HK. I have not been using it because I found it a bit meaningless to use an English name just like that. Since I were to make it formal, I would rather ask my father about it. I asked him to choose between Aileen and Anna (starts with "A"; means Grace and by just the feel of the pronounciation, I feel is suitable for my personality). In the end he chose Anna, so I changed this to Anna only on Sunday, the baptism day itself.

I told my sister about the baptism also only on Saturday night when I had dinner with her. I didn't even have the courage to ask if she would like to attend. I only asked her after lunch on Sunday. Though she hesitated for awhile, but she agreed in the end.

So, with all these happening just before baptism, I think my mind was just so deformed and couldn't get back to the normal relaxed state immediately. So, I was tense right till the moment when I got baptised. It was also compounded with gratitude that they were able to happen just before my baptism. This was exactly how I felt when I was in front of the pool and Edmund took that picture of me looking tense.

After the baptism, when I was standing in front of the congregation, overlooking the whole hall, something else was on my mind. I was astounded, amazed by the work of God on me in this House of God over the past few months. I converted to Christianity when I was in Munich, the belief must have been strong and convincing at that time; I came back from Munich and attended services at Adam Road Presbyterian. The church environment was nice and so were the members. But during those times, I have never felt the connection with, the strong presence of God so strong as I am now experiencing in COR. I just found it amazing, incredible, awesome and I was deeply touched. That was what was on my mind when you all saw me frowning while standing in front of the congregation.

I think I was only eventually competely light-hearted and joyful when we took group photos at the end of the service.

Thanks a lot for your presence on my Baptism. And thanks a lot for the stylish devotional, the CD and the meaningful card. And of course the pictures that you all have taken.

Yan

Hoi Yan --> Anna

Look at the tension on Hoi Yan's face. Is she willing to give up her old self?



Getting ready now...Rev John Sim is assuring her and praying for her.



Unflattering photo. Nevertheless, it is evidence of Anna's baptism. Cannot run away liao..haa...Dead to her old self...(she will be forever young...)



As a cell, we stand by her and prayed for her. Beautiful



Finally, the lighting of candle. Sweet. Look at Anna glowing in angelic white.

Impossible

I was reflecting on some things yesterday and i came out something. Just thought i share with you guys.

----
There are many things in life that baffles me – the unaminous collapse of the western banks, various genocides, world wars, etc. Closer to home, I see a lot of impossibilities in many areas of my life. For example, despite losing my father during my teenage years, I still manage to live out a reasonable standard of living (My father is a sole breadwinner who is a taxi driver and he has to raise 3 young kids). Certainly, my circumstance warrants grumbling if I chose to look at things in a myopic fashion. If I go down this slippery road, I will say that I should have a better life of riches. I will complain on why my Father must die so early and rob me of his companionship. Life can really be bitter. Fortunately, I did not see life poorly. Instead, I see a life of impossibilities made possible by one decisive factor – God.

Jesus said, “With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God.”(Matt 19:26) Further on, in Hebrews, it is mentioned that without faith, it is impossible to please and be satisfactory with God. Also, in Luke 1:37, For with God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment.

All these verses spoke deeply into my heart. It certainly brings a fresh perspective of my life circumstances and the things around me. It tells me that human logic has limited possibilities. Human situations are fraught with finite options. With men, one can only reach the domain of impossibilities. However, with God, nothing is ever impossible. The Creator and Author of our life is simply God. He saves not out of human ways or with a swoosh of his hand. Instead, he sent his son to die on the Cross for us. despite constrained by his values of one having to die for one’s sins. Mind-boggling. How can this impossible act happen?!

Using human rationality, this does not make sense. Though this solution is perfect and free, the world cannot believe it. Perhaps it requires the scales of their eyes to fall down. Maybe, it needs more persuasion and better presentation. Possibly, Christians can try to be better witnesses. I am sure human efforts can bring about an extension of God’s kingdom. But, any efforts without Jesus will at be most human. It will be a situation of impossibilities. On the contrary, any efforts that have a mustard seed-like faith will surely move the mountains. It will cause heavens to roar with rejoicing. It will bring a smile to our Heavenly Father.

So, let us all take this season of Easter to glorify Jesus who came to die on the Cross for our sins. Let us tell this simple story of Jesus to our friends. The opportunity is knocking. Let us pray. Let us ask God how. Let us move mountains. With God, all things are possible!

Church Events for the coming weeks

Hi all,

I encourage everyone to consider the coming church events (see below for more details). These events are specially planned with all of us in mind. Specifically, I urge all to attend the "Come Discover Hope" on Good Friday. This is conducted by Leon Evans whom i heard has a great ability to connect with people as young as us :> i sincerely hope that all can invite your friends esp those that you all brought down for MY HOPE.

Main Event for Cell:

1) Guest Service on 28 March - Neville Tan (the guy who spoke in MY Hope) is coming. I strongly urge all people who come for MY Hope to come. We will going out for dinner after the service to celebrate Brenda's age of maturity :>

10 April (friday), 1930 to 2130: "Come Discover Hope"
Cell may meet up for earlier dinner later. Lishan + HY, please take note. This is so that you can plan the cell activity accordingly.

People gg so far: Sarah (Dancer), RJ, Amy & Ed

Sub Event for Cell:
1) COR 30th Anniversary Dinner, 1800. Must pay money. So, please confirm by this coming cell.

People gg so far: Sarah, Brenda, HY, RJ, Amy & Ed

2) Easter Convention on 10 & 11 Apr..please refer to bulletin or COR website for more info

People gg so far:
Sarah for Creative Arts,
Edmund for Plenary Sessions for both days

Other Events

SAJC Life Concert (3 April night)- the church need counsellors. So, Edmund and Sarah have volunteered. Unfortunately, Sarah is the BS leader. So, may need to change cell to Sat 130. Is this ok for everyone? Still deciding...depends on feedback fro pple

Cell Prayer Requests

Nissi - Getting the firm foundation right
Be real followers of Jesus Christ

HY - 1)For Alice (her sister). Her work is quite bad and she is feeling restless and unhappy. That God will speak to her.
2) To be able to decipher God's plan for me so that I can make up my mind and have courage to carry out the plans.

Billy - Pray for Good Health for his Grandma
Pray that the job application with LTA will be successful.

Lishan - To be less stubborn

Brenda - To continue to be more hungry for God’s word
To focus on him

Karen - Pray for K's manager. She is very cruel to her.

MJ - Pray for God's widom upon him
Amy- Ability to handle the demands of her difficult boss…and also with regards to her relationship with all bosses

Jonathan - Wisdom to know the next step ahead for his life

Ling - Passion to live for Christ & Her exams on Tuesday
Sarah - Keep her mind on Jesus

Ruijie - Exams which are starting in April
Good health and time management

Edmund - Strength & wisdom

Faith

I was watching a christian movie the other day "Facing the Giants"... and one part caught my attention:

The coach was very disheartened about what was happening, and was asking the pastor about what it means to have faith... and this was the reply.

"There are 2 farmers, both desperately crying out for rain. Both were in dire need for rain, and both looked to God for help. Yet only 1 of them went out to prepare the fields, so that when the rain came, he'd be ready. Which of the farmers do you think had greater faith?"

Interesting food for thought eh... How often do we just sit back and wait for God to take the first step... only to grumble when we don't see things moving? What's the attitudes of our hearts when we pray? Are we really enTRUSTing our situations to God?


"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1


-amy

The meaning of marriage

I went to a friend’s ROM recently. It got me into thinking about the meaning of marriage. My conclusion is:

Marriage is meaningful to me only when I link it with God.

I used to think that there was no need to get married. To me, it’s meaningless to be with someone who doesn’t love me. If I am not in his heart, what’s the point of keeping him by my side? A marriage certificate is not a guarantee that both would love each other forever, even if both have said the vow passionately and determinately. The feeling, the chemistry will just eventually vanish.

I was, however, eventually convinced that two people should come together in a marriage and be “one flesh” to serve God. That was after reading the book “Kiss dating goodbye”. I couldn’t summarise or rephrase and give a good explanation for that at that time. I was not a Christian at that time and that was two years ago. This thought came to my mind again after attending the friend’s ROM.

It’s hard for two people to stay together, loving each other for a life time. No matter how compatible, how good the chemistry is, there will be bound to be times when you are just irritated by the other person; there will be bound to be times when there are disagreements. How great can the love be for the other person, especially when you know that you can choose whether you want to marry this person? It is a free will. There are bound to be doubts. I think the only guarantee and binding force for this love is the love for God. In God’s Kingdom, there is a set of rules to guide how people should live. Without following these laws, the society is just chaotic, so is the case for marriage.

Ephesians 5:21-33
21 subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ.
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body.
24 But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;
26 that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word,
27 that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly;
30 because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones.
31 “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly.
33 Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

It is by following this law and following God’s words that the two people can stay together for a life time.

“For with God nothing is impossible” (Luke 1:37).

Therefore, marriage is only meaningful when God comes into place.

In the process of growing up, I have been taught that marriage is a milestone in life, maybe a stage that one must go through. However, I just found that somehow all the reasons given to me, supporting marriage were insufficient to convince me. At least, with this reason here, I am convinced.

There are still a lot of things that I have yet to find meaning to...

Yan

Servant Leadership

I have been reflecting on John 13:1-17 for the past few months.

How does one become an effective leader?

I believe it takes a combination of aptitude, people skills, attitude, etc. I shall elaborate on attitude as illustrated in John 13.

Jesus actually washed the feet of his disciples. This is profound and serves as a yardstick of humility and servitude.

When I was in secondary school, my principal and a few teachers actually washed some the feet of some students. This takes place in front of the entire school assembly. The students will sit in a row and my principal will wash their feet. This takes place to show the humility of Jesus Christ.

This simple event has made an impact in my life. It constantly reminded me of the need to be humble and have a golden heart of servitude. I also believe that Jesus deliberately carry out this significant activity before the Last Supper. He wants the disciples to constantly adopt a heart of humility and servitude.

To conclude, I will leave some quotes which I got from Wikipedia.

a) Chanakya or Kautilya, the famous strategic thinker from ancient India, wrote about servant leadership in his 4th century B.C. book Arthashastra:

"the king [leader] shall consider as good, not what pleases himself but what pleases his subjects [followers]"
"the king [leader] is a paid servant and enjoys the resources of the state together with the people".

b) In approximately 600 B.C., the Chinese sage Lao Tzu wrote The Tao Te Ching, a strategic treatise on servant leadership:

The greatest leader forgets himself
And attends to the development of others.
Good leaders support excellent workers.
Great leaders support the bottom ten percent.
Great leaders know that
The diamond in the rough
Is always found “in the rough.”

c) "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:42-45)

-ed-

Running the race!

Hebrews 12:1-3

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles , and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus , the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Good appearance, good heart

Recently I've recovered a bookmark given to me by a friend whom I've known since my internship. She has really sowed seeds for me to know Christ by talking me to across the toilets almost every night. (The layout of the hostel was that there was a common toilet in between two rooms. Both rooms have access to the toilet from either room.) I think I got that bookmark from the toilet door to my room.

Anyway, that's a bookmark with a Bible verse on it:

"For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7

It didn't appeal to me when I received that bookmark. I just thought that's cool. A bookmark with a German Bible verse on it and my friend wrote some touching words behind together with the translations of the verse. But when I read it now, it speaks much to me.

I was at first quite disturbed and felt helpless by this verse. I am naturally drawn to good appearance. That may make me look shallow, but I must admit that appearance is definitely something that bothers me. When I am walking on the street and come across some handsome guys or girls, I will definitely take a longer glance. It's just natural. I believe that's also natural for many people. So why shouldn't we look at the appearance?

I finally checked out the whole story from which the verse was taken from. The story was about Samuel anointing the King chosen by the Lord. All the sons of Jesse appeared before him. Samuel saw Eliab and thought that this was the one to be anointed because of his appearance. But the Lord told Samuel that that was not the one and so came that verse. Later on, the Lord told Samuel the one that He has chosen. It came out that this chosen one is "ruddy, with bright eyes, and good-looking". Therefore, the one that the Lord has chosen not only has good look but also a good heart. So essentially, it's not telling me not to look at good look , it's just that the person must have a good heart also.

I always believe that there is a link between the appearance and the heart. A person can have nice features: the nose can be very straight, big eyes, good complexion...but if the heart is not good, the combination of all these attractive features will not form a good appearance. I will just feel that somehow something is not right and it's not comfortable to look at. On the other hand, there are people with average features yet the whole combination is nice and peaceful to look at.

So after all, it's not wrong for me to look at the appearance. I am not looking at the outward appearance only, but I try to see beyond the outward appearance and know the heart of the person. =)

Yan